| i've been posting on another xanga. and you can't stop me. *sticks tongue out at you*
also, i leave for maine in 8 days. oh fricks!
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| i think i'm really bored. and sad. and i'm not sure why i'm being so crappy right now. |
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| so it's pretty much set.. i'm moving to maine. i've been talking to dad about it, and he gave me the go ahead again.. i kinda asked him once and for all.. nicki and i prayed over that conversation, and i feel like i said everything i wanted to, and he said, "if that's what you want to do, then you should go ahead and try to do it." and so i said okay. i'm not questioning that anymore. it's been said, and i dont need him to say it again. he's the head of our home and i have his blessing.
last night he said something else to me. probably one of the nicest things he's ever said to me.. i was talking about how i didnt really know what to do because mum didnt really want me to go, and as soon as i said that, he interrupted me and said, "well nobody wants you to leave." and what that means to me, coming from dad, is that he loves me and appreciates me and respects me.. and that he doesnt want for me to be out of his life, even if our relationship hasn't always been super open or perfect or anything like that.. and a lot of the reason i have a hard time leaving is because i'll miss him and i love him so much.
nicki is a huge part of my life. such a dear woman to me. i've taken crap for that, and people think i'm ridiculous for wanting to marry her. but i really just don't care what they think. she is the woman the Lord has designed for me, and i know it without doubt.. i've never been confident in anything, and in this, i am completely. i love her.
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| i went to lunch with brendan. we got a pizza. we took sam. it was good times. i'm gonna hang out with brendan again on thursday i think.. if it works out.
also, i think i'd like it a lot more if i could hang out with nicki more. i'm hoping this whole moving thing works out.. definitely..
"i've abandoned my child! i've abandoned my boy!"
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True
